The Meme Factory
by Tymesworth
Summary: The most ridiculous novel you will ever read. Join a gaggle of idiotic, fighting teenagers, three androids, and a tiger on their quest to... Well, I shouldn't tell you. They live in a place called the Meme Factory. There's also registered trademarked air conditioning... Yeah, not really a fanfic. But, I really don't care, and neither should you... Heh heh, this should be fun...
1. Chapter I: The Factory Vs Spook

Good evening, folks. Fairyblade, here. Welcome to the Meme Factory. This is a story I've been writing on Wattpad since March of 2017. It is still being written, but I decided I'd post it on Fanfiction as well under the Misc. Books section. A fair warning, you will either laugh your ass off, or think it's stupid. Your call...

My writing skills were not as good in March as they are now. They're not perfect now, and honestly still require some fine tuning, but stick with this and I promise it'll get better. And with that, on with the story...

* * *

Arc I: A Brief Introduction to the Insanity that is The Meme Factory

I didn't expect the night to go like this. Now, don't get me wrong. I've become very accustomed to killing off hordes of beasts right outside of my own front door, but I never would've imagined that he'd ever return...

It was that dastardly little devil, capable of destroying the largest city in Soumeripan with one slap, and could bring an entire army to its knees. How he managed to do so with his flimsy, insignificant arms was beyond me. I stared at him, dead in the eyes, in awe.

" B-But... I thought we... How?" I yelled in confusion. I heard the revving up of a machine behind me. Turning around, I knew exactly who it was. None other than Craig J. Botson himself. He was a member of a trio of androids with artificial intelligence... Or stupidity. Honestly, it varies. They had named themselves, The Boy Droids... So original, I know.

" Don't worry," Craig told me, " This ain't the first time Spook tried to kill us," He continued. Suddenly, I saw Craig burst into the night sky using his built-in jetpack. " Ghastly spirit versus fists of steel? Ain't no surprise who wins that fight," Said Craig. He dove, swung his fist, and punched Spook in the face. Knocking the oversized wisp back a bit, he flew back.

" The man, your bot, Craig!" He screamed in victory.

I then saw my other friend leap into the air. The friend, however, was human. He scissor kicked Spook in the face, knocking him back, allowing Craig to punch him back. The game of kickball ended after a few exchanges between the two. " There he is! Garry McGerald comin' in clutch with the roundhouse kick!" Craig punched Garry playfully to congratulate him.

Suddenly, I heard someone charging from behind me. The figure skyrocketed into the sky screaming, " I hate this asshole!" He slashed his katana across Spook's torso area before landing back onto the grassy field outside of our house. It was R.J. Sterling, a pseudo-friend of mine I guess you could say.

Now, you can call me crazy as much as you want to, but I could've sworn I saw a bipedal tiger riding on a hoverboard, shooting dual blasters at Spook, and actually winning. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised. A lot, and I mean a lot, of crazy stuff always happens here in The Meme Factory. Actually, you want to know what's really crazy?

The moment Spook backhanded me and knocked me off the cliff that the house sat atop...


	2. Chapter II: Breakfast Cereal

Arc II: The Meme Factory but They Have to Fight Off A Deathly Infection...

*General P.O.V until further notice…

* * *

It was 6:30 in the morning. It was around this time that the residents of the Meme Factory were beginning to awaken from their slumber. A majority of the teens living in the home were up and ready to take on whatever felt the need to try and kill them today. It was a sad reality, but in the end, it was not as bad as it sounds. Sure, they had to put their lives on the line everyday. And maybe the place reeked of spoiled milk, but it was a home. It was this home that built the foundation of all of their friendships...

But let's not get too sophisticated here. The boy from the night prior was pretty wrecked from the battle that occured. His face was bruised up. It looked like he had taken a trip to Hell, and just barely made it back to Earth. A few of our unlikely heroes were watching the boy as he started to awaken. Their names were Kazelskis Trumpet, Lexie Xzandria, Kaichi "Kai" Kimiya, Jim Garves, Kunkles Matthews, and Raiga. The last one being a member of the Boy Droids.

" Chad... Chad?" Kunkles said, seemingly worried.

Chad slowly began to rise up out of his bed, " Wh-Wha?"

Kunkles calmly approached Chad's bed before resting his hands on Chad's shoulders. Kunkles slapped Chad hard across the face, " BITCH, ARE YOU OKAY?!" He screamed. Kai and Kazelskis began to laugh hysterically.

Chad hopped down from his bed and landed on to the wooden floor below. " Y-Yeah, I'm-AUGH!" Chad groaned as he was kicked into the air by Lexie, smashing his head against the ceiling.

" What the heck," She yelled, " Spook could've killed you last night!" She screamed. Maybe she was concerned, or maybe she just wanted to beat the hell out of Chad.

Chad's spiky, light black hair was now ruffled. And his brown skin was now bruised even more. He coughed up a small, minuscule drop of blood and it landed on the floor.

" HEY! GET THAT BLOOD OFF OF MY PROPERTY YOU SWINE!" Yelled Jim, the young landlord of the Meme Factory.

Afterwards, everyone began to calm down. They all enjoyed a few bowls of cold, rejuvenating breakfast cereal. Frosted Flakes, if you will...

After eating, Chad's eyes were suddenly filled with rage. " I'll... I'll beat the heck outta' that Spook..." He said. Maybe the residents of the Meme Factory would've cared a hell of a lot more if the door didn't burst open out of no where.

" _SOULJA BOY UP IN THIS HOE! WATCH ME CRANK IT, WATCH ME ROLL! WATCH ME CRANK THAT SOULJA BOY, THEN SUPERMAN THAT HOE!_ "

Everyone turned around. Not a single person was surprised. It was Stanford Antonio Estavez, otherwise known as Stoney Tony. A frequent visitor to the Meme Factory, and an avid cereal ambassador. Some say he's the cousin of Tony the Tiger...

" (Sigh). Stoney, if you're gonna stay here you better get in the guest room before the co..."

Chad was halted by the sudden sound of police car sirens outside of the Meme Factory.

" Well... Shit..." Chad said as he walked outside to hopefully negotiate with the police officers.

* * *

It was pretty quiet on the second floor of the Meme Factory. Craig, the Boy Droid, was practicing his attacks by knocking his punching bag across the room.

" Yo, Johnny. Where the heck is Rai?" Craig asked. Frick "Johnny" Adams was the third and final member of the Boy Droids. He wore a spiky blond wig as an attempt to fit in with human society. He also wore a blue t-shirt and soccer shorts.

" Dunno," Answered Johnny, " Maybe you should call 'em, matey..." He continued. Craig's robotic eye began to glow a bright red color.

" Picked up something?" Asked Johnny.

" I think," Responded Craig, " I'm picking up some weird signals from a few miles away. The last time this happened, Chad and I got to hit up that fresh night club," Craig turned around, " But this time, it ain't that fresh. And it damn sure ain't that safe," the android said, grabbing his steel boxing gloves. " Johnny, tell the gang downstairs to grab the blasters and ammo. Tell Kazelskis to rev up the Mememobile. We need to track down this... This thing."

* * *

Kazelskis and Chad fly through the skies of Soumeripan, searching for the " thing" that was detected by Craig's radar. Kazelskis, using his own line of technology, Kazelskis's Wearable Tech, took one hand off of the steering mechanism of the Mememobile's Flight Mode, and scanned the area with his watch.

" See? I told you the Wearable Tech would come in handy!" He said, proud of his work.

" Kazelskis, if you don't get both hands back on that goddamn wheel..."


	3. Chapter III: Yattsukeru

" Damn it!" Yelled Chad as bullets began to fire at the flying vehicle. Someone, or something, was trying to shoot he and Kazelskis out of sky. Kazelskis, taking action, tapped his watch and called Craig for help.

" Craig! The Mememobile's been hit! I think we're gonna crash!" Screamed Kazelskis.

* * *

" Calm the hell down," yelled Craig, " You've been in worse situations. Just activate the wearable tech and float down. We'll do repairs on the car later." Craig hung up and punched a strange, shadowy figure in the face. More of these Shadows charged after Craig, some were armed. Toting golden, pistol-like weapons. Unlike the turrets that were attempting to shoot down Chad and Kazelskis, these guns shot lasers.

Craig was knocked back after being struck by the blaster's shot. He fell to his knees and called for an assist. " Yo, Johnny! Tag in!" He called.

" I got you, mate!" Johnny leaped into the air. The blond android's signature weapon was a metallic soccer ball. When he kicked at the perfect angle, it would burst into flames. Most likely knocking the person that got hit with it into next week... Or the next millennium. Johnny kicked the now flaming ball of steel into one of the Shadows faces, causing it to fall back while hacking up a bizarre, violet blood.

Craig, now recharged, rushed towards one of the devilish shadows and jabbed it in the torso before taking his fist and smashing it's face in.

To Chad, Kazelskis, Craig and Johnny, it was just another fight...

* * *

It was a Monday morning. Monday's were... Well. Sane, at the Meme Factory. It was the day that everyone would recoup. Where everyone could relax, play video games, watch movies, etc. It was also a day of planning. A day when Kazelskis would often make blueprints for new weaponry to defend the Meme Factory from an inevitable invasion. A day where the residents of the Factory would have training battles, and overall would just have fun.

Now, what really is the Meme Factory?

It's a fortress, but it just looks like a normal house. Well, normal would be a bit of a fib. It's protected by guns, blades, cameras, mechs, etc. It's definitely way bigger on the inside than it would seem to be on the outside. It has the comfort of a normal home. Couches, bedrooms, all that good stuff. Chad Simons, Kazelskis Trumpet, Jim Garves, Kunkles Matthews, Kaichi Kimiya, Lexie Xzandria, Garry McGerald, R.J Sterling, and Jules Fernandez. These are the names of the brave children fighting for the country of Soumeripan.

The Meme Factory was built from the ground up by none other than Stoney Tony himself. After previously homeless Jim found the building at the young age of nine, Tony passed on the factory to him. Making Jim Garves the official " Landlord" of the Meme Factory. A bunch of the other kids began to move in one by one, and with the small rent fee of a single Frosted Flake a month, they could live there...

With fears of a brief war between Stoney and the military of Soumeripan which lasted about a year, Kazelskis began to upgrade the Meme Factory's defensive systems. He created one of his most legendary weapons of all time, the original Gunblade 1.0. A beautiful weapon, a sword with a built-in shotgun. Somewhere along the way, The Boy Droids moved in and they helped fight against the Shadows and whatever other beast came their way. They were the perfect team, and still are to this day...

Anyways, it was Monday. Craig was just getting out of bed. Craig J. Botson hated Mondays. Trudging down the stairs he took a seat next to Kazelskis, Chad, and Kunkles.

" Mornin', Craig." Said Kazelskis happily. Craig looked at Kazelskis dully.

" I'm pissed," he said," We have to go to school..."

Every one stared at him strangely. " There ain't no damn school, bro! We live alone!" Announced Kunkles.

Craig's eyes popped open in excitement. " OH HELL YES!" Craig screamed in happiness, dancing around the kitchen with Kunkles.

" But... We already knew that..." Whispered Chad. Kazelskis shrugged, and continued eating his Frosted Flakes like any other cereal loving individual.

Getting up, Kazelskis walked into the Meme Factory's Cereal Vault to refill his bowl. But alas, before he could get more cereal, his phone began to sound its alarm.

WARNING... WARNING... GET TO YOUR COMPUTER... BITCH...

Kazelskis sighed and ran toward his computer...

* * *

Kazelskis took a seat, staring blankly at his computer screen. Quickly tapping away at the keys, he put in his password.

Password Valid... Welcome, Kazelskis...

The young, blond genius opened up a security program on his computer. His screen began to flash bright, red lights. Suddenly, Chad entered the computer room.

" That can't be good," He said. Kazelskis glared at him annoyed, he hated it when people stated the obvious. " What's going on?" Chad asked.

" I... I honestly don't know. I'm scanning all of Soumeripan for traces of anything harmful," Kazelskis said, " But I can't seem to find anything on the screen that would signal... Well, anything."

Chad pointed at the screen, " What about that big, red dot?"

Kazelskis face-palmed and clicked on the dot, " Of course,"

After a few minutes of deciphering special computer code, Kazelskis stood up.

" Apparently, there's some kind of raging infection, well, infecting people on this island just on the outskirts of Soumeripan." Kazelskis explained.

" Well, what the frick are we waiting for? Let's go!" Yelled Chad excitedly.

" Hey," a voice said from behind them.

" I'll get the weapons, let's go kick ass, boys," said the voice.

" Gotcha, Craig!" Said Chad, giving him a thumbs up.

* * *

" Welp, there they go. Sure nice of Chad and the boys to leave us in charge of the Factory while they're gone, eh, Jim?" Asked Kaichi.

Jim, with his head in his 3DS, muttered an answer. " I mean, sure. Anything's cool as long as you all can pay your rent," He said, " One frosted flake a month,"

" Eh, well, it is a pretty low re-AAGH!" Kai spun around in a circle and fell to the grassy ground as a glass bottle struck him in the face.

" ... the Hell?" Said Jim confused, just slightly looking up.

Kai, rubbing his head, stood up and looked at the shattered glass and the liquid inside of it.

" Milk? That can't be good..."


	4. Chapter IV: Golden Fricks

Everything looked very, well, small from the sky. Kazelskis was piloting the Mememobile in its Flight Mode while Chad stood aboard the wing. Craig flew beside the vehicle with his built-in jetpack. " We're closing in, let's get ready to la... CHAD!"

Chad leaped off the wing, laughing loudly, " See you when you land!" He screamed as he began to fall to island below.

Chad smashed his fist into the concrete street below as he hit the ground, sending a shockwave of force through the land. The spiky haired boy was surprised when he saw that the island was an abandoned city. The skyscrapers and other buildings were wrecked and burning in an inferno. " Damn, the whole city's on fire..." He said walking around.

Suddenly, he heard a loud hiss from behind. The figure seemed to be human, but it was green. One of it's eye's were dark red, and the other was gashed out and bleeding rapidly. One of it's arms were severed, and the other was barely there. Skin was nonexistent in the middle of his arm, and the bone was showing clearly.

" Oh shit!" Chad screamed as he pulled out a knife. This knife was The Ultimate Weapon, developed by Kazelskis. It was a glowing, golden dagger that kill an opponent in one stab. Unfortunately, it can overheat... Somehow. So it can only be used in short bursts. Chad took the Ultimate Weapon and stabbed the humanoid being in the chest, he pulled out as blood spewed everywhere. Kazelskis and Craig landed shortly after.

" I'm picking up heavy signals of the infection all over this island. We can only stay at ground level for about an hour before the effects begin to take their toll on us." Kazelskis informed.

" Well, what are we waiting for? Let's explore this hellhole!" Announced Chad.

" That's what I like to here, bro!" Yelled Craig, upper cutting one of the zombie-like creatures.

Kazelskis, searching the island, came across a mysterious ditch after a half hour of searching the city. This ditch was glowing vividly with a strange, green light. Kazelskis looked into the ditch.

" Whoa, a specimen," He pulled out a pair of tweezers and a steel cage, " I guess we can head back now so I can inspect this. I wonder how the guys back home have been doing?" He asked himself…

* * *

Lexie kicked a random, deranged dino in the face as it fell back, screeching. Jules Fernandez shot an arrow into the dinosaur's back, and for the finishing attack, R.J jabbed one of his katanas into its chest, instantly killing it.

" I think the dino's dead," Said Jules in relief, " Thanks for the assist, R.J. You're a pretty skilled swordsman,"

" Thanks, and no problem," Said R.J. as he stood up.

" AW YEAH!" A loud, screechy voice screamed from the sky. R.J turned around suddenly before finding a sneaker bashing into his face.

Jules ran up to R.J., holding him tightly, " What the hell, Chad! You know R.J.'s still injured!" Screamed Jules.

" D-Damn you..." Muttered R.J.

" Sorry, Julie. Just tryin' to make an entrance!" He said cockily. Kazelskis landed the Mememobile with Craig following suit. Yup, just another day at the Factory.

* * *

" Thanks for helping me experiment on this germ, Lexie." Said Kazelskis, covered in protective gear.

" It's really no problem," she said.

Kazelskis handed Lexie the case that the specimen was held in. Lexie picked up the germ with a pair of tweezers. When she moved her hand, a part of her wrist was revealed.

" LEXIE, YOUR SKIN IS SHOWING!" Kazelskis screamed, removing his helmet... For some reason...

Lexie screamed, " AAH, WHERE?!" She looked up, " SHIT! NOW YOUR SKIN IS SHOWING!" She pointed at Kazelskis, accidentally dropping the tweezers.

The room went dead silent. Lexie slowly moved her eyes down to her wrist...

... There was the germ, lying idly on her skin...

... Lexie Xzandria had... The Infection…


	5. Chapter V: Quench Your Thirst For Fricks

Chad had made his way into the lab and was screaming like a maniac, bashing his head against the lab's steel walls. Lexie was now sealed in a germ proof tube, and Kazelskis was typing away on his laptop, trying to solve this problem.

" Well, I've got good news," Kazelskis said, " You've got another good three years before the infection kicks in and destroys you from the inside-out!"

Chad screamed in excitement. Lexie smashed her head through the glass of the tube and screamed screams of delight.

" Oh... Oh frick, my bad," Kazelskis laughed, " _Days._ Three _days_ before the infection kicks in and destroys you from the inside-out."

Chad began to hyperventilate and Lexie started to cry a river of tears, quite literally. Now Kazelskis was indeed, screaming.

* * *

 _...Three Days Later..._

Kazelskis slid down to the basement laboratory of the Meme Factory where Lexie was sealed in the still shattered tube...

So was she really sealed?

" Here's your food, check for radiation," Kazelskis instructed as he handed Lexie a delicious, nutritious, crispy, sugary bowl of Kellog's Frickin Flakes. They were great after all...

Lexie looked up at the blond boy genius as she ate her golden Fricks. Her eyes were blood red, and bumps were appearing all over her face. " K-Kazelskis, I'm not feeling too... _Bleh,"_ Lexie passed out.

Kazelskis whipped out an electromagnetic grabbing device, scientifically named the _Super Grabby Picker-Upper 7800,_ named by Chad, as if it wasn't painfully obvious.

" Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope," Kazelskis continued. He exited the factory, directing Lexie's dead corpse to a nearby dumpster, tossing her in.

" Welp, she dead..."

It was 6am on a Monday morning at the Meme Factory. The sun was shining through the window of R.J. and Jules's room.

The faint sound of crunching could be heard from outside. Oh the disadvantages of living on the ground floor.

The zombie like creatures from the island shattered the window, groping at Jules. Jules screamed and ran downstairs.

Raiga, Johnny, and Kunkles sat downstairs eating their own individual bowls of Frickin Flakes. Jules ran up next to them, " It's time to fight!" Jules announced. Raiga slid his two pistols out of their holsters, Johnny grabbed his soccer ball, and Kunkles summoned his magic, emerald scepter.

Another fight was just about to begin…

* * *

Jules ran up behind one of the zombies and stabbed it in the back with a small, sharp kitchen knife. Blood splattered onto her face. Disgusted, she quickly wiped it off. Raiga loaded his pistols and shot one of the infected humanoids in the head. " Is this one of those kickass fights you guys keep telling me about?" The Boy Droid asked.

" Hell yeah," Kunkles announced, striking a zombie with an energy blast from his scepter.

" Well," Raiga smiled, " Maybe I'll fight more often," Raiga put his gun to the zombie's head, flipped his long, black hair, and pulled the trigger.

Needless to say, the monster's mind was blown. Quite literally.

Johnny kicked his soccer ball at the zombies, knocking off it's head. The dirt path leading to the Meme Factory was now stained red. Jim would probably increase the rent for this spill.

All of a sudden, Stony Tony shredded through a wave of zombies in a rocket. Arms, legs and heads were flying through the air.

I think we can agree that the battle was over…

* * *

It was 6am the following morning. Chad woke up dazed on the couch in the Meme Factory living room. Kazelskis was scrolling through some statistics on his tablet, and Tony was smoking whatever the hell it was that he smoked, he wagged his tiger tail in happiness. " Wh-What happened," Chad asked confused.

" You walked outside during the battle and got knocked out," Tony said, " I thought you were dead, kid," Tony continued to smoke, happy that Chad was alive.

" You pothead," Chad said, snatching the blunt from Tony, " Damn, take a break. We don't need you passing out on us," Chad threw it in the trash can. Tony frowned, but decided to eat some Frickin Flakes instead.

Kazelskis hopped off of the couch, " I have theory," He said. Chad and Tony stared at him, eager to listen, " This Infection, well, isn't really an infection. It's an experiment," He continued, " The government has been sending out airwaves to trick the female mind into believing it has a disease, making the disease a reality," Chad stared at him.

" The disease turns females into the Infected, basically zombies, and kills males on contact," He displayed a map on his tablet, " There are two transmitting towers, one in New York City, and one in Paris, France. We need to get their and destroy those towers," He said, " This will reverse the effects of the virus, and revive everyone who has died,"

" You mean, we can bring Lexie back?" Asked Chad. Kazelskis nodded.

" And Jules," added Kazelskis, " She was fighting yesterday, and I haven't seen her yet. Same for R.J. So if they're dead, we can just bring them back,"

" Well, what the hell are we waiting for? Let's head to America!" Yelled Chad.

" Uhm, I might just hang back here," said Tony, " Yeah, I may or not be wanted dead or alive in 32 states so... Yeah," He laughed, scratching his head.

" W-Well, okay," said Kazelskis, " Keep an eye on the Factory for us,"

So everyone in the Meme Factory, excluding Tony, packed their bags, and got ready to head to America...

Arc II: End


End file.
